Sadness..

Wow I can not believe it is almost December already wow time really does fly when you get old. It just seemed like yesterday it was January , you know what they say do not blink. Today I have recently realized that my life will most likely going to change in just a matter of weeks, heck even days. It is not really a big change, but I have been so lucky in having every thing I have always wanted recently.

I guess what is going to change is as a matter of fact, soon I will not be able to see my girlfriend as much as I would like. Because she will be starting her job babysitting for the time being until a nursing job becomes available. I really have no clue how I am going to react to it, because quite simply I have been lucky. We got together in the end of spring beginning of summer so it being summer I could see her almost every single day, as long as I wanted it seemed like. It really have lasted up till this point. Even though during the week I do not see her on certain days , some days I get to which includes weekends. It has honestly been really really nice more than I can ever ask for. It had to end sometime but I do not want it to end now, I wish it could go on forever. But the more time goes on the harder and harder it will be. I will be underestimating that I am scared, I am horrified.

I am thinking that it will be like this forever that we will never get to go back to the way it once was, so we both have to take advantage of everything that we have. But I know that we will both be fine because I have gone through this before and I did get through no matter how much it hurt me. It just makes you enjoy the time that you both have together, no matter what. I guess it will also be hard because I have recently realized that in the next couple of weeks is going to be really busy for me because of finals coming up so that also means I will not be able to see her as much, and that makes me sad.

That is the end of my depressing post, until next time..

Scared..

Have you ever just lay down some where and began to think to yourself about a whole bunch of things, and eventually it scares the living crap out of you. I have done this countless times before and it just happened again today. I began thinking about death, for example how am I going to die, what is it going to feel like, if I die right now will I make it to heaven. All those things just freak me out to no end. I guess if you would ask me one thing that I am afraid of it would have to be the fear of dying. It is scary because really you do not know how you are going to pass away, heck you could get shot, stabbed, or just die of old age.

But through everything what freaks me out the greatest is I know I will make it with my heavenly father when I die, I just can not see that it is going to be for eternity. I mean eternity seems like a long long time, your spirit will continue to live forever. I guess what I am trying to say is won't we eventually get bored someday? Run out of things to do? I have been alive for 21 years now and that is not even on the timetable how long I will be in heaven and I thought 21 years was a long time. I do not know maybe that is bad of me but won't we run out of things to do. But along with that, who will I meet in heaven when I eventually die, my best friends, famous people?

Maybe all of this is Satan trying to get to me that the afterlife is not that great. I must admit I have been aloof from God lately. I really have no excuse , for example I have been getting really mad over stupid things that I usually do not get mad about. That just seals the fact that I need to have a relationship with God and really mean it this time. I have taken so many things for granted because I have everything that I have always wanted. But I know for a fact at any time God has the power to take that away from me. I believe I should re-surrender to my heavenly father and for fill his destiny for me, and finally be the christ follower he wants me to be, before it is to late.

A Very Potter Blog

Hey look it is Monday again! Meaning it is time for another blog, hmm trying to figure out what blogging is all about I found out I should not put a time table on when I am going to blog. I am just going to write one when something comes to me. Like now for example my mind now a days is full of Harry Potter excitement.

Mainly because the date is coming up when Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part One is coming out at theaters worldwide. I have been waiting for that date for a year or maybe more. It is probably my favorite book of the series which means hopefully the best movie. But who knows with hollywood anymore right. Do not get me wrong the past movies have been completely wonderful but to me they always was missing "something" that I always could not put my head on. These last two have the most action in other movies in the past, drama, etc. Hopefully everyone will do the book justice just like they said they would.

With all the excitement that comes out with the last movie coming out, it isn't always peaches and cream I am going to be completely sad when eventually when part 2 comes out. I am not going to lie Harry Potter has been a very very large part of my childhood and I miss that honestly. I can say I would feel empty without it in my life, it is really what got me into the love of reading books. But I really miss reading books I been not doing that recently because with college I have not had enough time to do all the things that I wanted to do.

Its nuts that I can tell you exactly how I came upon Harry, I was honestly introduced by a library person at the Gnadenhutten Public Library. I came in with my mom one day looking for a book to read, I was having a terrible time finding a book. Eventually the person came over to me and my mom and asked us if we have ever heard of this book. She eventually held up the book, in my mind I said to myself hmm this looks interesting, I asked her what it was about and she told me it was basically a child that goes to a wizard school and learns magic. It sounded so interesting to me I had to get the book. Pretty much the rest of it is history. I become so involved in the world of Harry Potter, but that does not mean that I was addicted to it I just liked the books. I guess it worked for my mom to because she could see how excited I was about reading. After every book that came out I had to get my hands on it, and read it. I honestly try to read books at a slow pace so I can absorb the material but I was consumed with the books. I finished one of the biggest books in just three days, reading on and off during the day.

The rest is history so to speak so Harry in short made me a reader imagine that huh. To think that just in a matter of years it is all going to end makes me sad beyond belief. My childhood gone just poof. I usually not a emotional person but I can be in what I believe in. I just have a feeling in my gut at the end of Part 2 I will just leave the theatre crying. At least I will not be the only one who knows I might even clap at the end if it is awesome. I guess we all have to wait and see on 9/19/10..

Oscar anyone? Maybe not

Sick Sick Sick

I am sorry for not blogging so soon, this week has been uneventful for me, obviously what have I done all wek you ask. Pretty much just lay on the couch and try to take it easy as I can. Because I am pretty sure I had the intestinal flu right now it stinks majorly. It also stinks that I really cannot eat to much without feeling the bloated feeling when you eat to much in sight of things I really have not. A couple of days ago I had some serious vomiting issues that I will not go into detail here to save everyones stomachs. But let me tell you I utterly hate throwing up and that is a understatement I do not see how anyone can enjoy to do it. It makes you feel so miserable and you can not help but just cry afterwards. But since the last couple of days I feel so much better almost back to normal thank goodness. What else has been going on in my life for the past week and a half. I bet I could not have done it with the great people you took care of me and you know who you are

Well even though I would love to have something to talk about, I can't just that I am so ready for school to be all over. I mean it is November, getting cold whinding down on the semester so that means I am ready for it to be break. Even though my classes have not been so bad thus far, it would actually be nice to catch a break once in a while you know? I am guessing a lot of students in college is also thinking the same way. Who know that might be the reason I see less in less people in my everday classes, as they days go on.

In other news I am so exicited that it is two weeks away from today that the new Harry Potter movie comes out to the United States. I have been waiting for that day as long as I can remember knowing that they were going to film the movie. The only thing I am not so exicited about it worrying if they will do the book justice. But I know I will disappointed in some expect because it is a common fact usually movies are not as good as the books because when you read a book you can use your own intermitation not some one elses. But in that, that does not mean I think the movie will be terrible. I am guessing that it will be one of my favorite movies of all time putting part 1 and part 2 together. Which I would conclude it is going to make a whole bunch of money.